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ANGRY LETTERS -- Department of BYU Studies

Received: Friday, October 11, 2002 10:21 AM From: A------- S-------- Subject: The awkwardly-fitting department of BYU Studies

Greetings Geeks! We write to you from our office in the "awkwardly fitting Department of BYU Studies." Our letter today was inspired by the kind words about our department in the September issue of Geek News. The article made us realize that the two weeks without lights were really an unheeded hint to move out. Have you paused to consider the many services and benefits that BYU Studies daily provides for the students in the Clyde Building? First of all, BYU Studies hosts on average 15 female interns per semester. Most of these beautiful women are single and close to graduating. At least three members of the Engineering community have been able to expand their dating portfolio because of the location of BYU Studies. In fact one of our former interns married an engineer this last May. She is now graduated and supporting her husband financially as he works toward a masters degree. Another benefit of BYU Studies is the office service we provide for the engineers. This semester alone, BYU Studies has provided the use of our phone, trash can, pencil sharpener, copy machine (someone even requested to use our broken copier), rubber bands, tape, and bulletin-board space. We feel that these contributions to the overall welfare of the Clyde Building community justify our existence in this beautiful yet windowless Utopia we all refer to as home. In the spirit of brotherly (and sisterly) kindness, we think the time has come to end this territory issue. The time has come to ask yourselves the question, What can BYU Studies do for you?

My Reply

A--------, I'm glad you were able to take the ribbing in good-natured fun. Of course, the particular comment was made, not to deride the Great Department of BYU Studies, but simply as an observation that, like a rose among thorns, it catches your eye. Still, perhaps I've not considered enough the "many services and benefits," you mentioned. Indeed I was unaware that BYU Studies hosts a bevy of beauties. I think the next time I have occasion, I shall walk past your open office door a bit more slowly and perhaps briefly raise my gaze from off the floor to furtively glance about your room. Maybe. Then, again, I am a geek and us geeks are not given to such bold maneuvers. I hope my allusion to BYU Studies will be, in retrospect, seen as an effort to build bridges of understanding between our diverse communities. That it was included at all, means it is in our psyches! Furthermore, just think of the explosion of good feelings once more engineers discover BYU studies provides trashcan access, rubber bands, etc. In reverent awe, Ryan

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